Re: Don't jump to conclusions
Submitted by sally on March 26 2002 02:35:13
In reply to Re: Don't jump to conclusions submitted by foxfire on March 25 2002 12:47:14
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Hi foxfire. now you seem to think too much of the parent's role in a child's life. yes God honored the parents an all. but do you think all familys are as ideal as yours? look around you. we live in an age where "ideal familys" are quite uncommon. the divorce rate is getting higher and higher. resulting in destroyed and torn yp relationships with the kids. yes many of those divorces end normally with only a little harm to the children. but do you honestly think that it's always so "pink" and cheerful?? Oh my family was far from ideal. And I suffered because of it. And I pass some of that suffering on to my children, I know. My family now is far from ideal. I'm a sinner and my husband is a sinner and the children are sinners. Far, far from ideal situation here! But I must admit that my family was far better than many. At least I had two parents who stayed together and who taught me when I was young to believe the Bible and they loved me though they were not around much when I was growing up... when I did see them I never doubted that they loved me.. and they taught me how to know God. And though my family now isn't ideal I hope that I am giving my children the love they need... I am a firm believer that if a child knows he is loved by his parents he is light-years ahead of the pack. i for one have both my parents. they are still together. but in reality i never had either of them. both were too busy for me. and i didnt have any male siblings either. resulting in not having an adult idol to look up to. i diliked my father for not being there. and hated it when anyone compared me to him. i spent most my childhood away from my family. yes i lived under the same roof. but it still felt lonley. I'm sorry to hear this. i had it easy. compared to many more unfortunate kids out there. if they dont have thier parents. who do they turn to? I agree. I do not mean to say that you may never befriend a young boy that is in need of help. I think my objection, which I have not voiced very well, is to this... almost "holyfying" the condition... that I think I picked up somewhere in all these posts. Befriend all the boys you want but befriend the girls also. It is not your holy calling to be mentors to lost boys. And it bothers me greatly for some of you to "have boys" or "YAs" the way some people have wives or brothers or nephews. The term "boy" as in, "My boy and I went bowling last night" is not a biblical term unless you are speaking about your son. God did not give you a boy, I don't believe. Nor is it better to say, "My YA and I went bowling," imo. Help children who need help and you don't have to go into a monastery somewhere and where hair shirts, but I cannot think that you should make this condition that you have a good gift from God. I believe the attitude should be, "Jesus loves me and forgives me," rather than "Jesus gave me this because he has given me a special gifting to love children." The Bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good gift from the Lord and it says that blessed is the man who has many children. But it does not say anywhere or even hint that it is a good thing for men to be attracted to boys in the way you bls seem to be. So I can only think that your sin is not worse than mine but neither is it some special gift from God. That said, every trial born well is a gift from God, for he uses all for our good, if we are called according to his purpose. It strikes me as I read here, though, that this increase in homosexuality and child/attraction might very well be laid in part at the feet of the women's lib movement. I don't know because I've not studied this and I bet that some of you will have studies to show that there has always been a certain percentage of the populations that was homosexual or pedophilic (is that a word =0) ?) but I'm not sure I trust any of those studies. We can work the numbers to prove whatever we want usually. And how would anyone know how many homosexuals there were in 1435? Anyway, my thought is that many of you seem to want to take care of someone. I think that that aspect of what you feel is a good gift from God. I think that God gives man strong feelings of needing to be the protector and the feeder-- the sustainer of life and the leader in the home. And I think that sexual urges even enter in here. From the way that some of the people on some of these boards talk they want to help the boys have a positive sexual experience. ( I find this very awful in case any of you care). But the point is that all these things are good things if they are directed toward a woman but perhaps women are not as attractive to more sensitive souls because we are all too self-sufficient now and have spit upon the protection and gentle care that men need to provide. OK that is obviously not a scientific answer and it is obviously not the cause of the whole problem but I wonder if it plays a part. I don't know that any of you care but I thought it was an interesting line of thought. your kids are lucky they have you. you are obviously a great mother and equally as good a person. Oh I bet my kids would disagree with you. but.. actually my boy does still hug me and say, "you're the best mom." I guess I should revel in it while it lasts... |
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