I hope your present girlfriend knows your secret or at least that you will tell her before you head toward marriage. You said about the last one that you were best of friends but she didn't know... she couldn't be the best of friends then could she? I can't imagine you building a relationship with a woman without telling her about something as important as this thing you struggle with.

How do you categorize degrees of importance? Any sin at all will keep you out of His Kingdom. Do your best friends know everything about you?… Can they be trusted to keep this information to themselves? How many churches are there in existence today where you can go and confess, even only to the pastor, that you are a boylover? They are obligated to tell law enforcement if you confess to certain details. Is a person to sit down together with someone they feel they love, and confess to them every ungodly urge which has ever passed through their mind? The scripture tells us to confess our sins, but not to everyone. We confess to the one(s) we have offended… otherwise we are obligated to confess only to God.

I would suggest you find a new church and new friends. Seriously. I am happy that you have this forum to help you. But do you know what a travesty it is for you to say, "My church will think I'm beyond help." The church is made up of sinful but saved brothers and their main job on earth is to help one another. What higher earthly aim can there be than to preach the gospel to all and then to train, love and edify those who enter the church.

How many churches do you know of that are like this? I once suggested to a friend that he ask his pastor what would happen if he put a sign out in front of his church that read,

How many people would come to church?… How many would stay away? How many people actually live up to the ideals that you have suggested? How many "Judases" are there in the church who will heap praises upon themselves at the expense of their "friends"?

When I serve a hurting brother it is as if I am doing unto Christ himself.

Can I serve Christ only in a church building? Can I turn something else into a "church"?… an assembly? I believe that is what we are trying to do here in this forum. Although we have had a feeble beginning, I can recognize this forum as a church. There are a lot of hurting people here who can, and have, and are sharing their hurts and fears here. I have seen many hearts turned to Christ, and many people saved from taking their own lives because of this forum, and it has only been here for a little more than three years. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Bach.)

But how can we serve one another when we won't allow someone to serve us? How can we all be the burden bearers and none of us admit we have burdens?

I love what you have said here, and you are exactly right. The thing is, we have to recognize it when we find it, and I think it is right here. Do you think it is asking too much of you to keep coming back and lecturing us as often as possible?

Sally, I hope you will give us the benefit of the other three-fourths of your lecture. I appreciate what you have to say, and look forward to reading more.

Love in Christ,
~Andy