Re: Confused/Depressed
Submitted by Ben on April 4 2002 06:56:07
In reply to Confused/Depressed submitted by Daniel on April 3 2002 18:17:45
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Dear Daniel, I am so glad that you found this forum here. Your story is so similar to the stories of so many others here. I can especially relate to your talk of being a young boy and having feelings or curiosity about other boys but not understanding it sexually. I can remember around 6th grade, just as puberty was creeping up on me, being infatuated with another boy in my grade. He was cool and the best athlete in the class. He was also a gymnast...and certainly was built that way. I remember that I interpreted my feelings as ADMIRING him. I was so unaware that this had to do with my sexuality, that I openly shared that I looked up to him with many of my friends. I didn't think I was gay and neither did anyone else (as far as I know). Yet as I look back, my interest was clearly sexual. Perhaps the reason that I didn't think I was gay was because I saw older males, anyone over 13 or 14 (depending on the boy of course) as unappealing. Today I am still attracted to 9-13 year olds, just as you are. I only wish that I had found others who felt that way at your age. Much of the pain of the past 25 or so years would be different. I'm just curious: Do you have any religious background? You are always welcome here but it might be helpful to know why you are choosing a Christian BL site. There are also many secular ones. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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