Re: some commentaries on boylove
Submitted by Dakota on 2002-06-7 17:45:42, Friday
In reply to some commentaries on boylove submitted by Genghis on 2002-06-7 01:49:06, Friday
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I read White Knight's experiences a few months ago. I think I also read about Silva, but not sure. I always find it interesting to read about others' experiences in dealing with boylove. There were definitely many sad parts in White Knight's tale. After reading your comments, I think you might be over-glorifying heterosexual marriage. I often do that too. I see a movie about some fantastic love relationship between a man and a woman, and wish with all my heart I could have that. But the truth of the matter is that no relationship is perfect and no one lives happily ever after completely, like they do in the movies. Even good marriages take a lot of work and have bad moments, and there aren't that many good marriages these days. So the heteros are having their problems just like we are. I got a chuckle when you refered to Silva as not a "complete" boylover since he is also attracted to women. I guess I am also "incomplete", he he. But from what I've read, it's not unusual to be a boylover and not gay. You seem to be looking at your future with a lot of trepidation. Yes, there will be heartache, but even non-boylovers experience that. I think where some people set themselves up for more heartache than usual is by trying to walk a fence in their relationships with boys. On one hand, they try to be a friend and mentor to a boy, but on the other hand, they want their romantic and "closeness" needs filled by the boy. Even if it never gets sexual, trying to fill those kind of emotional needs with a boy who is only looking for a friend is bound to cause problems and heartache. I think the guys who have had the most success in being a close friend to a boy with a minimum of heartache are those that separate their sexual feelings from their Agape love feelings. If you can make up your mind that you are going to be a friend to a boy and expect nothing but friendship in return, you can have a healthy fulfilling (to a point) relationship that is full of love in both directions. But if you start looking to the boy to give your life meaning, or cure all your lonliness, you're well on your way to pain. It's all just learning how to deal with being a boylover. We can't just decide not to be one anymore, so we might as well live with it as best we can. We can still have a happy rewarding life. Dakota |
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