Pornography
Submitted by innocence is bliss on 2002-07-13 21:37:53, Saturday
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Does anyone have a problem with pornography, or is it just me? No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop looking at internet porn! Its driving me nutts! I pray and pray, I ask God to forgive me each time I do it, but then Im left asking, how many times will God forgive me? Surely, there will come a time when he will say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" and then what? I hate to think! The problem for me is that surfing the net has also become a compulsion, each time I stress out, jumping in front of a computer and looking at porn is all I seem to do. My doc say's its part of my OCD and EDC yeah right? Sometimes I wonder if these so called experts no what they are talking about. But then again, the "power" or rather the "control" this seems to have over me, seems to indicate that perhaps it is linked to OCD. I don't know, all I know is that I NEED A LIFE! I need to get through this and stop spending hours in front of a computer lusting over those beautiful naked boys! I hate myself each and everytime. I know I'm going fall into the same trap again, I know Im going to say, "I promise I wont do it again" and maybe I will for a day or two (If Im lucky) but I know that there will come a time when I will be back online either posting crap. Or perving at "hot boys" and once the "excitement" and arousal has died, then I am bombarred with feelings of shame and guilt and eventually self-hatred! Does anyone else have a similar problem? If so, how do you cope? |
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