Re: Curiuos
Submitted by Muddyfox72 on 2002-08-2 11:49:47, Friday
In reply to Curiuos submitted by drew on 2002-07-31 22:59:54, Wednesday
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Since this discussion is fairly new & has been explained already, I will add my bit just for information. 1: Was I molested as a child? Yes, on several occasions by the same neighbour. He had kids of his own & we were friends of the family. He now has about 6 boys of ages 18 & younger and I don't know if he's molested them as well. I didn't mind it, but he did go too far on two occasions (thankfully only two, which left me sore & I was told the famous line "Don't tell your mum & dad", which to this day they do not know. Although many others over the years have been told, but I've kept his identity a secret for his & his childrens sake. 2: Did it lead to me becoming a BL? Probably, but the abuse was enough to make me never want to hurt a child in the same way that I was hurt by him. Even if I considered myself "Bi", which is still under debate, I wouldn't be a "giver" or a "taker". The Lord used my experience to only show my loving side to boys & I have refrained from any sexual contact in 97% of cases & yf's. My very first yf, was this man's nephew & although I'd known him since birth (when I was 13yo), I never really got attached to him until I was 19. I did babysit my yf & his older cousin, this man's eldest son on one occasion. The boy although only 9yo at the time, was very withdrawn, shy, didn't like an arm around his shoulder, but sat on my lap quite happily & allowed me to show him affection & hug him while he was there. I came to the decision to forgive my abuser around the age of 17-18, I went through a very difficult puperty & was very withdrawn myself, often resorting to "selective muting" while in school (at 14, 15), even to a very good head teacher who only wanted to help me. I felt really sorry that I wasn't able to speak to him or to my Child Psychitrist & tell them about my feeling or possibly the abuse. This teacher could've passed for a BL, his words were so warm & comforting, but I couldn't open up to him. I guess that The Lord has used my childhood & given me a free reign to go out & help children who have hard times or just to befriend & love those that no-one want's to speak to. You know the lonely kid or a troubled one with problems at home (Tyrogue 10 years ago). He's allowed me to be a blessing to many & still does today. My work shall continue for as long as The Lord sends needy boys to me, to love & bring to him in prayer. All the best to all - this may even pass as a testimony??? Best regards MF72 |
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