There isn't a right answer
Submitted by Forgiven on 2002-09-12 03:01:40, Thursday
In reply to help i'm lovesick submitted by curter on 2002-09-12 00:47:43, Thursday
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All I can really offer is more questions - but they might help.... First off - what do you mean by 'lovesick' - do you enjoy him, i.e. his personality or is it a physical attraction? Even if it is only the latter, if you work at the relationship you may find it becoming less dependant on the physical aspects - and of course he will grow up; I've an ex-YF who is now in his 30s who still a good friend. i'm thinking likes boys better than girls that's a more worrying comment. Why do you think that? Don't forget that some boys struggle to relate to girls when they are young? And does this reflect your own ideas about what you want to do with him? I want to be his friend but am not sure what to do next. I'll guess I'll just be there for him and wait to see if he wants an adult friend. That's one of the hardest things - to know what to hope for. It is almost inevitable that we have to take the first step to deepen the relationship; almost no boy is going to invite himself into your life. One thing to watch is what the policy of the church is; these days there are often church policies against youth leaders spending time with young people they know from church - especially without other people around. It's for the protection of both sides - it reduces the chances of anything inappropriate happening. Would a hug be appropriate? That depends on the culture of your church, and how he would interpret it; if your church is relatively 'touchy-feely', then it may be a safe thing to do. On the other hand it might be seen as an unambiguous sign of sexual intent! And it also depends on the boy - some may welcome it, others find it oppressive. One step is to start with a gentle touch on the shoulder and see what reaction that gets. Those were some hard questions and not a lot of solid advice. Let's remember; if you form a healthy, appropriate relationship with him that really is in God's will then it will be major source of encouragement for him in the dark days of being a teenager, as well as really good for him. And that is the final question - is it God's will for the relationship to develop? |
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