Battles won + lost
Submitted by Halo on 2002-10-19 05:36:39, Saturday
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Thursday - This morning again he's waiting for me. He comes into my room, closes the door & we have a small drink. He digs out a packet of potato chips & throws them to me. He shows me his cut finger, obtained this morning from some broken plates. It's a deep cut, but plastered up properly. On the way out, I made the mistake of asking if he'd met X from Z Dept, he said "no", I described him to Elekid, who took the usual taunting stance again "Okay, you live X more than me" a saga that would go through most of the day (causing more repetitive arguments of love & hate). "You love X don't you" - "No, I love you, not X". After a few minutes he stopped briefly & said "ha-ha, tricked you, your so easy to wind up. Wanna play snooker?" - "nah, I'm starving" I replied - "Come on, father & son?" he said. (Okay snooker it is.) Walking to the tables in the corridor he put his arm around me again & I did as well & we walked along like that for a minute before entering the room. We had two closer games again, which he won both. During this a boy with his brother was playing on another table. He's streetwise, according to his mum a few days ago, he's 8yo & been expelled from his last school for unruly behaviour. He's also shop-lifted at my work, but he's below the criminal age of responsibility. Another boy watching on another table, was impressed by a one handed long pot made by me. Elekid, used his own money on the machines today, went on about X constantly, making me tell him I loved him in every reply, as if he loves hearing it. We watched a show & he left me to it as he returned to the machines alone (giving him space is important). He returned 15 mins later & we went elsewhere. The X saga continued, as he boarded a ride & made several joking hand signals to me whist on it. He threw his hat too me as it slowed down, I caught it on one finger. After he got off he cuaght me out with another comment "you wanna have X don't you" & without thinking I blurted out a reply "no I wanna have you" - oops, he didn't hear it properly thank goodness, but it was instantanious & meaningless. He also goes on saying "you wanna shag X don't you, you wanna bum him" (X btw is a minger & I wouldn't even go there if you paid me). These replies are just met with "no" replies, without additions. The taunt was stopped by a phone call, I have another distant soccor game next Tuesday & might have to stay at Dad's for this one. After I finish he re-starts "That was X on the phone, weren't it, don't lie, you wan him." The latest addition to me saying I care about him is "you don't have to worry about me I have a gf" (but this is in his imagination). He climbed up a rope ladder in a play area that I thought I wouldn't be allowed in, so I refused to follow him. Cujo took over the conversation, mouthing off to me "pervert", nodding & saying "if you don't come up, I'm gonna tell my mum & dad all about you, yes." It was broken up by his cut coming alive again "arghhh, ship, come up quick", sure enough, blood was spilling out of this wound, he removed his old bloodstained plaster which I kept (hoping Pokey could run it through the FBI data base for me & get a DNA match). He search frantically for a replacement & gave it to me "quick, put it on, its killing me". I carefully wrapped it tight around his finger & Elekid was back to normal again. His attention was distracted by a 5yo girl & her Dad, so I stood by with him to watch the two of them play together. El would run up the rope netting, followed by the girl & slide down a slide, calling her as he went. This made her laugh. It gave me a chance to relax & watch another side of Elekid. Showing his appreciation of play, probably reliving memories of playing when he was smaller. The Dad thought nothing of this cause he only looks 12 & he was keeping his Daughter entertained. This went on for about 20 mins. Whe finished his new plaster was dripping with blood & I took him to the local nurse who put a clean dressing on the wound. We got a drink & some sweets & proceeded to where he worked. "Meet you here at 7.30 tonight" he insisted adding "if your not there I'll never see you again. You better be there Dad" he repeated several times. I left him & talked to my female Sv about him. She says he sound emotionally unstable & has never had anyone else to love him before, but she said despite him being AOC, it would be foolish to try anything with him, or I might loose him forever & "be careful" she said. 7.30 came & he left work late & we proceeded back to my room to get changed. He talked about his soccor match with fast food guys again (they didn't turn up in the end). He was destracted by a mate from work & went off with him to play more snooker, while I went into work. P late that night got me thinking about how to handle Cujo. Maybe a show of anger was needed or shock tactics, but it also came to mind to allow him space & praise him for things he's done well. Or see how he reacts if I tell him I can't meet him, cause of other plans! Friday - Learnt about patience & tollerance today. Cujo was there straight off the bat. Leading me along, I would comply with his "go aways", but he'd follow behind after me. We had small arguements, but I didn't let Cujo get the better of me. Eventually he gave up & said "are you coming to play snooker or what" so we did. No touching, no affection, no smiles. The games were played at a serious pace. I told him about why I was the way I was, telling him about being abused at 11 & making it the reason to why I would not engage in such activity with anyone or allow anyone to do it to me again. This was met with a laugh & "you probably enjoyed it". No anger, I calmly passed it off & went on to say what perils have befallen my abuser since then. All of his kids were taken into care, simply because they couldn't look after them. I don't know if he ever tried it on with them? I won the first game, closely fought, I'd never beaten him at snooker before. It felt good & a shout of joy was kept muted to myself. We played again, fouled on the first shot for a 2nd time. Nerves took over, as he gradually went into the lead, but not to far ahead. The colored balls dropped steadily & I took a slender lead. The last two balls would decide it. I potted pink, he still needed black, 5 mins of tense black ball chasing ended with a long pot by me to win my 2nd game in a row (& with it the Embassy World Championship). He was unmoved & seemed not to bother about loosing, but it meant the world to me. We went back to my place, Cujo returned, he was hurting all over, but I'd agreed not to help ease his sufferings unless he wanted me to. So he stretched out in pain I showed him my "caring face" of zero sympathy. We had a few sips of alcohol. He wanted to take it with him to work, but I refused saying it would get him sacked. On the way out he accused me of speaking about him behind his back, threatned me with violence. "I'll fking knock you out" he said, "You'll be sacked if you do, fighting is a dismissable offence" I warned him. "Are you going to tell on me eih?" - "Probably not, but witnesses are everywhere." (We were also on CCTV.) He calmed down as we went to eat. We were stopped halfway by a female friend of mine (Russian woman, big muscles), she opened her arms I followed in & she picked me up & hugged me as she slowly spinned me around. Elekid looked bemused, not knowing what to make of what he was seeing (Thought I was gay, was maybe going through his mind). "I've gotta knock someone up" she said linking arms with me "are you coming", she said turning to Elekid, who shrugged his shoulders & followed us. She talked about her problems, I listened with El not far behind. I think this showed him another side of me & perhaps showed him that others value my friendship & asked for my advise on all matters (like several do). Upon returning, he begged me to go on the simulator again, which we did, we talked briefly about sex, which he has no idea about at all. Upon asking a certain question about his gf, he replied "what's swollow". He really had no idea at all. I also let him go on the trapolines, watching him play dive, bounce etc, big smile on his face, like a 12yo showing off to his dad. (If only I had a camera to keep the moments forever!?!?!) Later we proceeded back to eat. We sat down together. He said "What do you want to drink?" - "Coke" I replied & he took my cup filled it & sat back down with me. "So what time shall I meet you tomorrow" - "The usual" I replied. "Okay, cu then." (Earlier as Cujo he'd said that tomorrow (today) would be the last time I saw him, but this showed again how quickly he changed from good guy to bad guy.) It's gonna take time, but as they say in South Park, "Guys I learned something today". Patience, recalling the words to GnR's famous song. (Cartman was that you???? That stinks dude!) Halo |
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