a short testimony
Submitted by Genghis on 2002-11-20 01:47:46, Wednesday
In reply to then lay it at the Cross submitted by Grieved on 2002-11-19 23:08:50, Tuesday
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Dear Grieved, You have only posted twice on this forum, yet from your tone of voice and words you write, I feel that you are someone who is walking very sincerely and steadfastly in the Word of the Lord. Most regular Christian people who happen upon this forum immediately post a derogatory remark, but instead you are calm and I could detect nothing that is condescending. I still think that you are mistaken in one or two facts about us, and I hope you will change your mind after reading further. I was a "Christian" all through my life, but it was simply a label and I didn't know what it really meant. Three years ago a Christian brother (who is now one of my closest friends) led me to Christ through the path of salvation. I knew I was saved - I felt a huge burden being lifted out of my heart. I began to go to church regularly, but instead of growing closer to the Lord, church-going seemed to become a routine occurence. What other Christians said about God "touching" their lives, God "speaking" to them - I knew not of. Perhaps I was still a novice - I didn't realize how many subtle ways God uses reach out to His people. Then came an event that, quite literally, changed my life, in a way that my salvation never did. Members of this forum organized a get-together last summer, and when I heard about it, I signed up to attend. There were only about seven of us total, but the discussions that transpired over the weekend meant a lot to me. I wrote a reflection of the event here. I interpret what happened in the car on my drive home as a sign from God saying that His blessing was on me. But that was only the beginning. In the half-a-year since the Gathering, many things happened which could have only come from the hand of God. In retrospect, it fits like a jigsaw puzzle - as if He had planned it all along. My pastor says that he does not believe in coincidences. I feel that what had happened recently could not have been coincidental. I would tell you about some of them, but it might reveal too much of my identity. I believe there is nothing inherently sinful in "boylove", just as it is not sinful to be heterosexual. That is not the game that Satan is playing. What Satan does do, however, are the conventional things he does to all of us: addict us to porn, lust, adultery. But I agree with you when you say that "we KNOW when something is sin." I *know* deep in my heart that boylove is not a sin. Part of the reason are the incredible happenings God has showed me these past six months. Another are the blessings He has bestowed on my life. A third is that the Bible says nothing against "deviant" orientations. What it says about "deviant sexual acts" is very much in debate, but that is not the point I am going after. Rest assured that most of us would never act upon our desires. Since the Gathering I have come out to two of my closest Christian brothers and sisters, one of whom is the friend who led me to salvation in the first place! They are both heterosexual, and at first, extremely against the idea of "boylove". Like you, they believed that boylove has no place in Christianity - that (i) God could have never ordained it, (ii) there must be a way to change the orientation, and (iii) we are no different from child-molesters. The last issue was the most hurting. But they were (and still are, if not more so) very close friends, and through my actions I hope to have convinced them that I am not so. The first two are very much up in the air, and we may never know the true answer until we leave this earth. FYI, there is a very good article about boylove here. It explains that sexual attraction is just one small part of being a boylover. We love boys for their spontaneity, innocence, openness and gaiety. In short, for who they are. Some of us are successful in cultivating the latter traits and can suppress the sexual desire to a point in which it becomes moot. Love, Genghis ps. regarding your comment about "physically inherited sin", are you referring to sins of our forefathers which passed down to us, and take it to mean as it being manifested in us as BL? One of my friends mentioned that point. Even if it were true, how can we repent for something we never did? The most we can say is that we are cursed because one of our ancestors did a grievous sin, and we have to live with that curse. |
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