Makes some sense to me too (also about girls...)
Submitted by Jules on 2003-01-23 16:18:16, Thursday
In reply to Something that helped me accept it submitted by Daze on 2003-01-22 04:03:38, Wednesday
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Hi Daze, Welcome here! Yes, I think the page you linked to expresses what I feel as well. In terms of adult attraction, I'm definitely much more towards women than men, and yet separately from that, I'm attracted to boys as well. But the model on the page also provides one possible way of looking at those who are gay in the adult sense and also like boys. I don't know whether it's the right model, but it might help. It's true that boys have some of the characteristics of younger women that I like; soft features, smooth skin, etc. -- although I read an article today pointing out that women never used to remove their body hair in days gone by. An adult woman naturally has hair on her legs, under her arms, and somewhat on her face. The modern custom of shaving or waxing is to make themselves more attractive to men. I suppose that means that women are actually most attractive to men before they reach what we call adulthood. And that matches the fact that in most cultures of the world, for most of the history of the world, women are married at around 13 or 14 years old when they are most attractive. Nature seems to tell us that once you've reached puberty, you are an adult. None of this 'extended childhood' idea that we've made up in the west, where formal education continues way past puberty. That seems to have been a mistake. We think that teenage pregnacy is a social problem, when really it's our made-up idea of childhood that's the problem! There has always been teenage pregnancy, because it's natural. The problem with teenage pregnacy isn't the pregnancy, it's the fact that we've stopped teenagers getting married! We force teenagers to stay single way beyond the natural age of marriage, and then complain that nature takes its course! How hypocritical! Next time a couple tell me that their teenage daughter is pregnant, I feel like saying "Congratulations!" and watching their reaction! Why should we be so shocked at the idea of a 29-year-old grandmother (as recently reported in a newspaper), when we know it's biologically possible and natural? And another thing; why is it that we have a culture that encourages young couples to set up their own home as soon as they are married, away from the support of their extended family, and then complain that the divorce rate is rising? It makes my blood boil sometimes! I long for a world where, if I have daughters, it would be perfectly natural for them to start a family in their teenage years; and their teenage husbands can live with us as an extended family. Older sisters help younger sisters learn how to be good mothers; cousins will grow up together. What could be more natural than that! Anyway that was about women, and I've got away from the point; the reason I said all that was to say that women are at their most attractive to men in their teenage years, before they get hairy. (And, yes, I'd love to have a 14-year old wife! But now I'm in my 30s, I suppose I've missed my chance!) But the same is true of boys. Boys share the characteristics of young women, being non-hairy. Ironically, I think that for some of us, because we are forbidden from having teenage wives, we fall back on the alternative. I'm not saying we choose this deliberately, but maybe for some of us, the subconscious effect of living in a culture that says "no marriage before 16/18" is that our interest in girls is suppressed, particularly if we were brought up to be moral purists, as I was. This may not match your experience, and I'm not even sure it matches mine yet, but I'm just thinking out loud really... Then again, I also like the model of sexuality that seems to be behind ancient Greek culture; that a boy goes through three stages, taking on three sexual roles; first as a loved boy, then as a boylover, and then finally as a husband. I wonder whether more of us would now be husbands if we had lived in a society that had allowed us the first two roles without shame? I also like the note on the page you linked to, that points out that boys used to stay hairless for longer in days gone by and were considered adult once they had hair. That just adds to the fact that puberty and adulthood should really be considered the same thing. There's lot's more to this I know, and we all have different ways of looking at it. Glad you've started understanding yourself more; that's what lots of us are trying to do here. With Christian love, Jules |
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