It is a common theme
Submitted by Nate on 2003-02-16 01:46:36, Sunday
In reply to The Sam Manzie Story Part 4 submitted by Ron on 2003-02-15 22:02:29, Saturday
|
Hello again, Ron. I am sorry to hear about the violent abuse that occurred to you as a child. I know that it is especially painful because as children we could never express the pain and anger fully for fear of the shame that comes with it in our society - so the child suffers twice, once from the abuser, then again through being shamed by his society. I also was sexually abused as a child, and loved in a sexual relationship with a man in my teens. Like Sam, I also became enraged when my society tried to redefine my sexual relationship for me. I also went through a period when I questioned what had happened and agreed with the other counselors to call it sexual abuse, but eventually, I had to acknowledge that what that man did for me was beneficial. He taught me things and opened opportunities in my life that no other adult was willing to. While my parents busied themselves with themselves, he was the one person who reached in to my life and pulled me out of destructive rebellion and suicidal feelings of abandonment. As a counselor with "sexually abused" teens, I saw Sam many times. Pulled out of his home and away from what may have been the first caring relationship of his life and thrown into an institution which immediately began to reprogram his thoughts - beginning with "you don't know what is good for you". Thankfully, the place I worked was full of compassion, but we still saw the kind of rage you described - and there were plenty of more obvious reasons for the rage than having had sex. (Parental abuse being foremost, but I won't get into it.) Ron, slow down and look around. Nobody here is going to argue whether violent sexual crimes against children happen and whether they are cruel and devastating. Its just that we don't confuse those things with love. Peace, Nate |
Follow ups: