Some humor to brighten your day
Submitted by Drifter on 2003-02-27 14:52:07, Thursday
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Heres something I ran into online. Advice by and for kids. >KIDS ADVICE FROM KIDS > > > > "Never trust a dog to watch your food." > > * Patrick, age 10 > > > > "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer." > > * Hannah, 9 > > > > "Never tell your mom her diet's not working." > > * Michael, 14 > > > > "When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair". > > * Taylia, 10 > > > > "Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac." > > * Andrew, 9 > > > > "Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." > > * Kyoyo, 9 > > > > "You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." > > * Armir, 9 > > > > "Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." > > * Kellie, 11 > > > > "If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." > > * Naomi, 15 > > > > "Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick." > > * Lauren, 9 > > > > "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. > > * Joel,10 > > > > "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the > > phone." > > * Alyesha, 13 > > > > "Never try to baptize a cat. " > > * Eileen, 8 > > > > > > HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? > > > > You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like > > sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the > > chips and dip coming. > > * Alan, age 10 > > > > No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to marry. > > God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're > > stuck with. > > * Kirsten, age 10 > > > > WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? > > > > Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. > > * Camille, age 10 > > > > No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. > > * Freddie, age 6 > > > > HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? > > > > You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the > > same kids. > > * Derrick, age 8 > > > > WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? > > > > Both don't want any more kids. > > * Lori, age 8 > > > > WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? > > > > Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each > > other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. > > * Lynnette, age 8 > > > > On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets > > them interested enough to go for a second date. > > * Martin, age 10 > > > > WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? > > > > I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers > > and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. > > * Craig, age 9 > > > > WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? > > > > When they're rich. > > * Pam, age 7 > > > > The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with > > that. > > * Curt, age 7 > > > > The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them > > and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. > > * Howard, age 8 > > > > IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? > > > > I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never > > going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. > > * Theodore, age 8 > > > > It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to > > clean up after them. > > * Anita, age 9 > > > > HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? > > > > There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? > > * Kelvin, age 8 > > > > HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? > > > > Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. > > * Ricky, age 10 |
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