Re: The content is more dangerous
Submitted by Michael Mejido on 2003-03-13 00:59:28, Thursday
In reply to Re: The content is more dangerous submitted by foxfire on 2003-03-12 18:21:31, Wednesday
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thank you very much for your compliments. But again, i wouldn't be still asking opinions and garnering more knowledge if I thought I was confident in my present work. Like I may have mentioned before, I had a kidney transplant, and a mental breakdown due to 'steroid psychosis', which was basically an overdose on the anti-rejection pills. I met with my professor awhile ago, and he asked me why i didn't just do my thesis telling my own story.... and i just gave him a dirty look and he knew not to touch that subject again. I felt that there was no way i could denegrate the pain and feelings i went through such a simple medium as a movie. But i am a film major. I choose to tell stories. And the story that consistantly came back to interest me was destroying society's view of what a pedophile is, and helping them (and myself) understand them a little better. Now first off, i've learned, thanks to my research here and other boylove sites, that my character isn't really a pedophile, but rather a heterosexual under major stress and pain. And that's a point i want to hammer home, even if it's just simple text at the end of the film. But more importantly, I feel ashamed, because i am selfishly taking on a subject that I can do no justice to. Film is a very poor conductor of emotion. I can't tell you how I feel via film. I can say "i went through this," and if you went through it too you may feel something, but that's really it. I go into this project knowing i can't do the subject justice. However, while talking to abusers in pain and the abused, I just felt so much pain from them. And I vowed that i couldn't do anything else, if my lack of talent couldn't convey anything, I would be sure to convey the pain these people were in by making the audience feel pain. I felt my efforts worthless if i coudln't even do that. And i realized that the original portion of the project was to explore how and why the abuser is in so much pain. And that is why that is the subject and theme of my project. Oh, and foxfire (great movie by the way), I give the audience what they want to see in the first scene. That's why it's designed as it is. I show the abuser as the monster. Not even a monster, a cartoon overblown monster doing things that would make even nick the most hardened psychologist heart. Again, i do it for a purpose. It's a setup for what i am about to show them. I believe you must show opposites to get the full thrust of any emotion or theme. If I am going to show an abuser with pain and human qualities, i have to show a person that has no human qualities at all. It makes the audience more willing to accept the human side of the son's emergance as an abuser. At least, in theory. Thank you for your kind words, Michael Mejido |
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