Growing Faith
Submitted by Ben on February 13 1999 at 16:54:09
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To update you all on what has been happening in my spiritual life: I've made a committment to study the bible for a while with the person who I now consider to be one of my best friends and who considers himself honored to have been chosen by God to be a guide for me. I've already read the gospels now and will begin studying with him, at his request, for about 3 months. I think that there are alot of ways that I can change the way I live my life and I think that I can learn to be a better person and a much happier one, through teachings in the bible. I cannot tell you how inspired I am by what is happening to me. To have lived a completely Godless life and to combine that with the pain, frustration and loneliness that comes with being a BL, makes this all the more meaningful for me. I'll be honest with you all, I'm not convinced of anything yet. I'm not willing to hop on the bandwagon because this is so appealing to me, but I am willing to open my heart and my ears and to, as my guide says, start listening. God has clearly chosen the proper guide for me. Spending time at his house is not just a spiritual experience. His sons, the twins (and he also has 2 more older sons who are still pretty cute..one 13 and one 15), are the most beautiful boys that I have ever met. I remember feeling priveledged just to be able to interact with them. Now I spend 2 or three times a week at their house! It is enough to allow my faith to grow from learning, but what an extra inspiration it is to sit with the boys and to talk about the bible, to hear them pray and to listen to them answer the questions that their dad puts to them about how to live their lives according to the bible. What a gift this man is giving his children, by raising them, not in fear of God, but in joyful thanks for God's blessings. What a gift he is giving me by including me. I am beyond priveledged to have met these people! I only hope that this is as real to me six months from now as it feels today. You are not alone. Ben |