Re: With a Breath of Air
Submitted by Ben on February 14 1999 at 09:39:40
In reply to With a Breath of Air Submitted by Thumb on February 14 1999 at 03:08:58
|
Hi Thumb - Each story you tell is so vivid to me because, as I said before, it is like a replay of my life many years ago! How similar this was to the second year at overnight camp! Darren was from New York and I made sure that my opening day responsibility was to meet the plane which came in from NY. Darren would be eleven that year, and I've always found 11 to be a special age in boys. I remember running around the airport all day, meeting flights and getting groups of kids on buses. Then it was time for the NY flights to come in, and I stood at the gate, heart pounding in my ears, trying to be very cool and high fiving all the kids who I knew as they came in. As each face appeared off the gangway my stomach kept turning with butterflies in anticipation. And then...I saw him, and I melted completely. The 9 months or so of cold depressing winter had made him even more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. I just could not understand how it was possible that I would be spending the next eight weeks with this boy! I pretended to be cool and not notice him, and he came up behind me and said, "Hey dude", in his little boyish voice. "Hey Darren", I said, "W'sup?". He clung to me that whole day, and since there wasn't room for every kid to go on the bus, he kept me company in the camp van for the ride up to camp. I'll also stop there. I know your feeling about having found the place here. I had that feeling from boychat years ago (I am actually one the the longest standing posters there, though I don't really post anymore). The truth is that it was the place. However, I've also learned that finding the answers, doesn't bring you to the end of the journey. Perhaps like faith (which I am learning about now), you keep growing and renewing your journey of understanding yourself and your life. You will grow from this board in your acceptance of boylove feelings, as I might grow in my understanding of God (and maybe Christ as well) and together we will become more whole than we were before. In the old bible, it says, "Life is a journey and death a destination." When we believe that we have reached the destination, we have died. And if we choose not to journey, then we are not living :) You are not alone. Ben |