faithfulness
Submitted by Ray on February 16 1999 at 01:43:41
In reply to Christian relationships Submitted by F.O.D. on February 15 1999 at 15:29:47
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F.O.D., As usual, I'll say something that I'll need to forewarn you not to be around if I decide to say it aloud in any church! This time about faithfulness from a Christian view, or should I say the view of a mature Christian -- me! :-) I have moved from the views you have expressed about faithfulness to the point where I see faithfulness in a relationship as having little to do with whom either of the persons in the relationship have sex with. (How's that for efficient use of English syntax to communicate a precise message?) I think that there can be faithfulness to the other in a relationship when either yourself or the other has sex with someone outside of the relationship. For example, I think that the Christian is called to be faithful to the other if the other is involved in adultery. Often the causes of adultery involve complex relationship issues. Also, I think it is possible to have opens sexual relationships, though it requires a very strong relationship to bear such freedom. Last summer I participated in a large single gender group at a weekend retreat for gay & lesbian Christians. The group for men was convened by John J. McNeill, a Jesuit for nearly forty years before being expelled from the Society of Jesus in 1987 for his views on gay and lesbian sexuality. Since 1975 he has been a practicing psychotherapist and a frequent lecturer on spirituality and gay and lesbian issues. And last summer, at the age of 72, he was ready to look at the topic of open sexual relationships among gay men with some positive light. Don't quote me on this, but I seem to recall that he thought the women weren't ready for such a discussion yet! I think that such a "Christian" idea of faithfulness through changes in sexual expression of a relationship has much to contribute to boylove relationships. In a sense, transforming and freeing! Good news, even, once you get past the fear of the new and unknown! I'm not suggesting you try an open sexual relationship, F.O.D -- but maybe, look with new light on those whom you might otherwise judge unfaithful! Ray |