Re: Good Example
Submitted by John Guard on March 18 1999 at 08:54:45
In reply to Re: Good Example Submitted by Ben on March 18 1999 at 06:20:40
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Hmmm...interesting points, Ben. I honestly am not sure what to say in that one because this is definitely not a black and white issue. The only thing I can think of..and not even sure what point it is making ...involves my past interaction with a child we shall call Eagle. I met Eagle when he was only six/seven and just "fell in love with him". The funny thing in this is that I never never never felt any sexual desire for him whatsoever. In fact, the thought of me or anyone doing so is extremely abhorrent. It was a purely platonic love...I refrain from saying agape love since there were elements in our relationship that were conditional and selfish. Anyway, we became like father and son, which actually disturbed some people since Eagle was usually very cold and distant from people (came from a severely abusive home). He and his family has since moved to NY, incidentally but I still touchbase with them regularly. Anyway, in retrospect, everytime I am with him, my sexual desire just dissipates. Its weird...because when I take my other kids to parks and outings, I usually would get distracted by cute kids in the background. But when I do so with Eagle, I dont even pay attention to them. Also, when I work with other kids, I simply repress my sexual emotions (which I vent via "self-abuse" (heh hheh) later during the night). But not so with Eagle..there were no built=up sexual energy whatsoever. No lust, no sexual tingling or thoughts. I cannot explain it myself. Maybe its that I love him so much that I am willing to surrender everything to the Holy Spirit..but unsure about it at this point. Anyway, I am still trying to analyze myself (not to mention praying about it). In Christ, John Guard |