Re: For my brother, Nash...
Submitted by Nash on March 20 1999 at 16:05:33
In reply to For my brother, Nash... Submitted by Chris on March 18 1999 at 20:19:28
|
Hello everyone, It has been a while since i have posted anything, but i shared my good news with my brother Chris and he wanted me to tell you about it here. First of all i want to thank Chris for his help and guidance. I love you Chris and appreciate all your help, you are my true friend. For the last 3-4 weeks i have been really down. I had several family members calling me or stopping by to tell me what a wortheless peice of shit i am to them. I have a hard time with self esteem and when i heard this it got me back down to zero again. So i was drinking again and everything. I didn't want to see anybody, hear from anybody or nothing. I just wanted to be left alone. I just didn;'t want to hear from anybody giving me crap again. I took all of this personal and felt really down and pissed off at everyone. So for the last several weeks my motto in life was "the hell with everyone" just leave me alone. I finally realized after all this time that i can not live my life like this, being in a hatred mood towards everyone. My pastor even called me to ask if i was allright since he hasn't seen me in church in a while, and i was rude to him also. I regret it now. While i was at work i prayed to the Lord and asked what will my life be like going at it like this, i sudenely got a bad stomache ache, i took that as a sign. I then prayed and asked for forgivness and help and to let me know that Jesus was with me, after saying that i gasped for air twice then felt a peaceful feeling within me. I felt good, i felt great! I then realized that God had filled me with his presence, i then knew that God really loved me for who i am. All i had to do was ask for his forgivness and help. I feel a lot better now in life. It was hard being in a negative attitude all this time, this way is a lot better. I have decided to keep all negative people out of my life from now on. Family or friends, i will not let them bring mme down anymore. If they do i will tell them that i back in God's groove and will not allow negative people or thoughts in me or my mind and soul. If they get mad at me for that, then so be it. From now on i only want happiness and positive friends. I have that here in CBF. My friend and brother Chris is my best friend here, he also told me good things about Andy and FOD. I would like to have you as my friends also and anybody else positve. Anybody can e-mail me if they want. I need good and positive friends to write to on a regular basis. I Thank you all, especially Chris. Thanks for being wth me in my situation. I love you all. Thanks. Nash-Man@goplay.com Nash |