Re: Question for Ben (moral celibacy)
Submitted by Ben on April 07 1999 at 19:21:09
In reply to Question for Ben (moral celibacy) Submitted by d on April 05 1999 at 19:55:12
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david - The easy answer to why I was morally celibate is that sex with boys was not a temptation for me. As a "voyeur" I was quite satisfied with watching boys. Furthermore, as this habit evolved from the time I was 11 years old, I never fully understood what I was doing. It never dawned on me, even in my teen years that this was my sexual orientation. I thought I was normal, with a strange little "side habit". I would watch boys in the locker room at the pool and then go out with my teen friends to parties. So, because I never needed to evolve any rationalization for why intergenerational sex was OKAY, I defaulted at the societal decree that it is not. Meeting other BLs opened by mind to the possibility that intergenerational relationships are something that some boys might be able to handle and enjoy. I learned to attach less horror and stigma to them. I also learned to stop hating myself. Still, there are such societal negatives and, because MOST boys probably would NOT want it, the evidence was not great enough for me to have a reason to reject celibacy. Furthermore, I reasoned that God gave me a harmless (to other people) outlet for my sexual orientation (masterbation) and, compared to many other pedophiles, I am extremely lucky. I hope that this answered the question. You are not alone. 
Ben |