Re: Stumbling Block
Submitted by Ben on April 08 1999 at 07:45:09
In reply to Re: Stumbling Block Submitted by d on April 07 1999 at 23:48:56
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d - Thanks for your viewpoint, which I have to believe is the right one. I believe that the bible also says that God will not tempt me with more than I can handle. Since I have begun reading the bible, my focus on sex has been greatly diminished. In fact, I sold my computer and stopped viewing newsgroups and web sites (legal ones) altogether. This is not because I believe that I can give up loving boys, but only because I don't see the need to use a computer to create more desire and more lust in myself. I also find that spending time with the twins and getting closer to them as a friend, has filled in some of the void that was filled by fantasizing about them. Don't get me wrong, I still am very attracted to them (they are so beautiful!!) but I am not as motivated by this feeling as I was before. The issue then is that I cannot profess to people that I believe 100% something that I do not. In other words, if they ask for my committment to never sin until I am married, I will have to lie. I don't want to do that. For the moment, I need this church to be part of my life, because the friendships and the fellowship are what keep me coming back when I stumble. The twins are the ultimate paradox, because they ARE the most beautiful boys that I have ever known, and being part of the church means having them in my life. If I turn away from the church, my love for them will turn to pure lust instead, since most likely my friendship will fall away. God is definately forcing me to THINK. It's good....but it's tough :) I value your guidance...thanks for answering. 
Ben |