Re: call me curious or...
Submitted by Ben on April 09 1999 at 07:40:41
In reply to call me curious or... Submitted by scott on April 09 1999 at 03:09:54
|
curious (you told me to call you that) - I am 32 and have pretty much been attracted to boys since 9 or 10 years old, though it wasn't sexual in nature until about 11. I am not a Christian but was raised Jewish, continue to be Jewish, but am studying about the life of Jesus and how he has affected people's lives. That study, btw, has brought me closer to God than 31 1/2 years of Judaism did. Finding BL forums on the internet most certainly changed my life in the most positive of ways. I learned that I was not the only person to feel as I did, learned that love for boys is a beautiful thing, a gift and also a cross to bear. I learned that boys CAN be sexual beings, but that I'd better give some really judicious thought to whether it is appropriate for an adult to play a role in that exploration or not. I stopped hating myself, and stopped being mortified by who I was. I also learned that trying to deny who I was or to change it was probably unrealistic. This knowledge, brought me to the possibility that there was a purpose for me being a BL. Unfortunately, I also became obsessed with picture sites and usenet (legal stuff...but no less damaging). I got bored with the forums (I consider myself a boychat graduate) and spent too much time with pictures and my life ended up being no better in some ways than it was before. God coming into my life, through the invitation of a father and his twin sons has given my life a whole new possibility. I sold my home computer and do not own a usenet reader at all. The computer for me is for this forum, and for religious websites and for business (and email of course). I have suddenly found a new desire to be with people, to form relationships in real life and to look to God for my purpose in life. I am sinful though. I do fantasize about boys alot and I cannot help but to feel how beautiful they are (both inside and outside). Where I go with this is unknown... You are not alone. 
Ben |