My B-Day and some reflections
Submitted by Tedd on July 04 1999 at 15:13:30
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Good morning, Well, today marks the third decade of my life. You know, I have dreaded this 30th birthday, thinking that somehow it meant that I was no longer young. That I was officially an old man. But as I woke up this morning, I started going through my life and the expierinces I had, good and bad. I realized that I will always be young at heart. For in these years I have made many good friends, young ones and old. Also, made a few enemies. Chris, whom you may or may not remember me talking about in earlier posts called me this morning to say happy birthday and that he loved me. He is 13 and said the words "I love you." ! That is not usuall for a boy comming into manhood to say to another man and I have not heard those words from him for some time. Normally, his response to an "I love you" from me is usually "OK", or "Uh huh". It brought me to tears. I managed to choke out an I love you to him before I had to get off the phone before I compleatley broke down. For those who do not remember me talking about Chris, I have known him sinse he was 5. He is like a son to me and though he lives 3 hours away, he comes to visit every spring for 2 weeks. I have the honor of being his Godfather which was the greatest time of my life. He is the most kindest, gentlest boy. I thought that today would be different somehow, that I had crossed over a milestone. But I really haven't. I am still me, I still look out the screen door during the day and see the boys in the pool here in the apartment complex and feel love for each one of them. They do not look at me differently today than they have any other day. They wave and smile when they see me and try to talk me into getting in the pool or to watch them swim, or dive. Ohh I received no birthday presents today, nor expected them. However, to me, it doesn't matter. I did however, buy me a super soaker for the pool. Can you guess what I am going to do today? LOL. It involves the super soaker, icewater, the pool, and few boys between the ages of 7-12. And finaly, thank you for this board. I have struggled and still am struggling with being a boylover. Although I love all the boys I know and have known, latley, I have questioned that love and what it truly means, what it truly makes me. This board has given me some limited form of venting, and I thank you all. Thanks again |