you are right, it is ALMOST like seeking temptation. i have placed myself in the midst of temptation, and it does have its downsides, but i feel that the benefits far outweigh any doubts i have inside. for me, medication is not an option. i have been carrying on like this for several years, so i think i can survive for a while yet. and while the easy thing to do would be to quit, i do not know if i could handle that... to me, it is not so much a problem of it showing, as that i want to keep my mind pure... that is the biggest deal to me. Thanks for the input.... Scott |