Thank you Ben
Submitted by Brian on October 07 1999 at 15:44:16
In reply to Re: I'm ready to ask for help now! Submitted by Ben on October 07 1999 at 07:10:37
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Ben - Thank you for what you have given to me. It is most certainly helping me out. You bring out some great points for me to work on. I know that there are two kinds of guilt. A, shall we say, "good" guilt and a "bad" guilt. I see the "good" guilt as being that which will keep me from doing the sin again - kind of like the sting of my conscience. The "bad” guilt is what I am struggling with. It is that which keeps slamming me back into the mat again and again. I know that I am forgiven through Jesus and the blood that he shed on the cross, but I can't figure out just how to get rid of the "bad" guilt that keeps coming back. It is very well possible that I spend too much time dwelling on it, and the devil just keeps using it because that’s where I am. It is also possible that I am having a real difficult time letting go of this sinful way of life. It has been a part of me for so long. But, I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to have to be asking for forgiveness for the same thing each and every time I come before Jesus in prayer. I would like to be able to live in his love without having to feel like I have let him down again. I really do want to repent fully of this. I guess it’s going to come down to the point where I am going to choose to quit “wallowing” in this guilt. It obviously has not done me any good. Jesus loves me: that I trust with all my heart. He has forgiven me; I also trust in this. So, I guess that this means that I have to figure out how to forgive myself, and then start loving myself. Thank you Ben for helping me to see this a little more clearly. I will take your advice and start reading the scriptures everyday. In fact, I have a small pocket size Bible that I am going to start carrying around with me. If I start to get down on myself I will pull it out and read some of the scripture passages that you have given so that I can let them soak into my heart. I don’t see any other way of doing this right now. I am just going to have to let God give his grace freely and lovingly, and I am going to have to just be as open and receptive as I possibly can. (That might sound like a “dooo IIIII haaaavvvveeee toooooo?” statement, but it is not. I am actually enthused about doing this). So thank you Ben! Your brother in Christ, Brian |