Re: I don't understand....
Submitted by Chris on October 21 1999 at 21:14:12
In reply to Re: I don't understand.... Submitted by witness on October 21 1999 at 18:18:26
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Hi Witness, I think you are running into the same problem in understanding us, that most people have. You see the word "pedophile" or "boylover" and what atomaticly pops into your head is "child molester". This is probably because of the news media, however, in your case, a lot of it comes from your abuse as a young child. (And I am so sorry this happened to you, by the way. I hate it every time I hear about something like that.) Besides your tramatic childhood experience, the news media plays a huge role in painting a very dark picture of us. Most pedophiles are not child molesters. Most live thier lives in secret dread of ever being found out, so they never have anythything to do sexually with a child. Although a lot of us find ourselvs in jobs and positions where we can be around boys, and although we are attracted to them sexually, we never try anything because either: A. Our consciences won't let us do it....or.... B. Fear of the consequences won't let us do it. We are just like you, Witness, in every human aspect EXCEPT sexuality. And the only difference there is the "object" of our attraction. You are attracted to women, we are attracted to boys. Other than that, we are the same, actually. Our sexual attraction is no stronger than your's, i.e., we are no more rapists than you are. We would no more take unfair advantage of a boy, than you would a woman. Also, we have the same range of feelings, emotions, likes and dislikes, as you do. If you were to run into one of us on the street somewhere, you would not know it. We are absolutely not the horrable, sex-crazed, preditors that the t.v., radio, and newspapers make us out to be. We don't creep around dark allys looking for unsuspecting victems, nor do we try to "recruit" boys for sex. Well, MOST of us are like that anyway.... Unfortunately, there is a small number of us who do rape children. Who are preditors. We are absolutely NOT proud of these misguided persons. Sometimes we try to help them if they reach out for help, but we never identify with them in thier actions. This is the distinction Ben was trying to make, I think. The difference between "action" and "attraction'. The true preditor's "action" is much, much different than a boylover who never has sex with a boy. Also, it is very unfortunate that the only boylovers or pedophiles you hear about in the news are the rapists and preditors, not the majority of us who are not this way. Think about it, when was the last time you saw a newspaper headline like..."Boylover helps nieghborhood boy with his self-asteem and keeps him from commiting suicide latter in life."? Never, right? But I'll bet you get to see a lot of stuff like..."Boy Scout Leader turns out to be Pedophile, Molests three boys!". (Just a note...these are fictional examples!) Very unfortunate but very true, we are very much missunderstood by most of the population today. I understand that you are not trying to make enemies, and are only trying to understand us better. This is really good, I sincerely wish there were more like you....willing to understand us. I commend you, actually. It must take you a lot of courage to do this. AND you will find no enimies here, either. In fact, anything we can do to help you understand, we will do. This is something we want probably as much as you do. God Bless! Your's in Christ's Love, Chris |