A Revised Ten Commandments.
Submitted by God on October 22 1999 at 21:34:19
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Dear Humans: In an effort to rectify an ancient (for you, at least) misunderstanding, I have decided to re-word the so-called "Ten Commandments." I feel this is an important thing to do, as these commandments have caused a great deal of confusion in their present form. So, without further ado, here is the text of the Revised Commandments: 1. I am God. I think. At any rate, there isn't anyone else out here. You can believe in me or not, I don't care. 2. You shall endeavor to avoid attributing to Me your own beliefs and needs. 3. You shall stop and smell the roses, being thyself aware of the thorns. I have worked a long time to make the universe. You ought to appreciate it. 4. You shall honor your Family. 5. You shall avoid Harm to thy..excuse me, yourself, your family, your clan, your fellow citizens of your nation, your fellow humans, all sentient creatures, and the planet itself. And another thing. If you cut down a tree, plant one to replace it. I like trees. 6. Strive for contentment. 7. You have control over your own lives. Remember that I shall not intervene. That's pretty much it. As usual, I'm not going to explain any of it, other than to say that I have combined all the "shall not's" into numbers five and six. You seem to get so much enjoyment out of picking my words apart that I figure it's not worth my effort. You wouldn't listen anyway. Love, God. |