Thanks to Jesus and to each of you!
Submitted by Brian on November 03 1999 at 23:33:25
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Hey everybody! I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for all you are doing here. I came here in the middle of September, a man nearly broken by the emotions that were raging in my heart and soul about my feelings toward boys. I was also so confused about how this could fit into my Christian beliefs. I was totally at a loss at how I could synthesize the two, and was really doubting that they could be brought together. However, while floating around in Boylinks, on the lowest day of my life, somehow I was led to click onto the link that brought me here. I truly believe that this was the hand of God that did this for me. I clicked on the link and came to read my own story in so many of the posts. In every post I saw aspects of myself clearer then I could have articulated them for myself. Being a Boylover and a Christian slowly, but insistantly, began to concretize its reality in my mind, my heart and my soul. The issues surrounding forgiveness - Jesus' forgiveness of me, his unconditional love and his salvation - have begun to take on meaning for me personally. I have even begun to forgive myself for my past sins. It has been such a blessing to read your stories, to feel your pain with you, to feel my own pain (and own it) and to share my story with each of you. I know that I haven't posted here in a while now, but don't think that I have not read every one of the posts on this board. I am in graduate school right now studying Theology and have been touched by the sincerity of everyone. You can't believe how much you have helped me reestablish my friendship with Jesus. Being in an academic institution as I am, it is really easy to pray academically, but that does not develop a friendship. Since I have come here I have undergone a major conversion in my life and relationship with Jesus. The academics are important, but they are secondary to what I am about here. I strive to serve Jesus and his people in my ministry, not to serve myself. As a result, I feel so much better about myself, I am so much more productive, I am able to really pray again, I can cry again, I can laugh again and so much more. Life is becoming meaningful again. I can't say that I am fixed - Lord know's I am a very broken man. It is going to take a long time to repair the damage done for so many years of wrong thinking. But, for once I know that there is a place to go to seek help when I am feeling weak, the seek solace when I am frazzled, to express joy when I am happy and to laugh when I am in a joking mood. It is amazing that this forum is right where I am at when I come looking. The Lord really does guide this board in so many ways. And, for that I am eternally thankful to him and to each of you for listening to his movement in your hearts. God really does have a hand in our everyday lives! :-) With this I am going to sign off. You will not hear from me much for the next couple of months, but please do know that I am here everyday looking for my "daily bread" which the Lord provides through each of you. I really have not missed a day since I came here in September (except for one weekend when I went to visit my young friend some 500+ miles away). The demands of school have caused me to realize that there are limits to what I can do in a day. I really do wish that there were at least 30 hours in a day so I could get more done, but God wisely created 24 hour days so we wouldn't get to carried away. And, with that in mind, I have to place a priority on getting my papers written and handed in on time. Some things I hate doing, but to suffer through this now, I will be freed to do God's work more fully later on. I so look forward to the day when I am finished with school. You are all in my daily prayers. I ask for your's in return. May the peace, love and joy of Christ be with all of you! Your brother on the way, Brian |