Time to introduce myself
Submitted by Jules on November 25 1999 at 18:07:34
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...as I promised. First, thanks to everyone here for being so caring - it's a real example of what church should be! Well, it's as though this place was made just for me, because I'm a christian and a boylover! Statistically there had to be more than just me, but I'd never thought of being able to find anyone else in the same position. Thanks to whoever had the courage to set this thing up in the first place! I'm in the UK and I'm studying theology at the moment. It's a great opportunity to explore the foundations of my faith and work through some of the questions and doubts that have always been there. Many questions remain, maybe even more than before, but I've come to realise that doubts are a part of faith. If christian faith is first and foremost a relationship with God, then it will include questioning and doubts, just as any human relationship does. As for being BL, praise God I've learnt how to accept myself as I am. I have had a couple of times when it's caused problems, once especially when I forced some (thankfully non-sexual) affection on a boy who didn't want it, but I know that the more I accept myself the less I need to force myself on anyone. That's worked out in my friendships in general as well - less pressure to get friends by my own effort and more willingness to allow friendships to develop naturally by being myself. How have I learnt to accept myself? Well, it goes hand in hand with accepting that God accepts me. I can't really say which comes first; they are so closely linked. Both are learnt by being accepted by other people. Earlier in the year I was really mad about a girl in her early twenties, and it set me thinking about the traditional marriage thing - maybe it is for me after all... But it didn't come to anything that time. I'll have to wait and see if it happens again. One last thought, what do people think the relationship between David and Jonathan was like? (Read 1 Samuel 16 - 2 Samuel 1.) Is this a model for the BL-boy friendship, or is it more generally about adult male friendship? It certainly reads to me as if Jonathan was the older partner taking David on in a protective way. But how young was David? I certainly feel the need for an intimate male friend, and how nice it would be if he were still young enough to be physically attractive as well! At the moment I have my eye on a 'boy' in his early twenties who only looks about sixteen... With love, Jules |