What can be more worse?
Submitted by KPK on December 19 1999 at 13:32:24
In reply to Prayer Submitted by Grank on December 18 1999 at 20:53:31
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Hello Grank, I had it for like maybe 20 yrs up and down just because I was a deaf gay boy and today as a deaf gay teenboy-lover guy. I am a old christian, and yes, I do know how that felt. I am not new at this. What can be more worse than what I had by then and now? (Long story) "I feel that I am in a dark hole and that there is never going to be a light at the end of it to ever help me." I felt that for a hundred time throughout my lifetime, I have seen some hells in my lifetime on this world many time. Like for example, I was in machine gun bullet sprayed room battling with cokehead creeps 9 yrs ago while shooting at them with my pistols. (Still am itchy-assed about them all ever since and could do it again with pistols as a paranoid bastard if I have to, in order to protect myself but I chosen peace instead, for my own sake) Just don't ask me how I lived and survived that way... I also battled with gaybashers, even deaf gay hating hearing gay people all the same too. I almost tried to kill myself in an passive ways with drugs and depairs years ago. It was not pretty picture with me by then, believe me. I knew what hells was alike because I had seen it... And in some ways, I am still am an old milita soldier in some ways even by today. There were some times when I thought I could die... But I didn't... What's more can be worse than mine own? You should count one blessing, that you are not being deaf and being so often downcasted by this stupid world like me? Truth is, you hearing people actually do have better chance to do better with other hearing people with your own life than most deaf people could. There is only one way when you hit the bottom is GOING UP. You know The Promise and the Biblical prophecies? Read it way down this board, I have talked about it recently. There are great wealth and reward, and eternal life and real home up there that await for you. You cannot die forever if you truly do believe in Him forever, I will say my prayer for you... KPK |