Chris - - - my favorite Christmas memory! :o)
Submitted by BLues. on December 24 1999 at 22:00:23
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Hey buddy! Thanks for all of the kind words. It's hard to work on a craft when you don't have feedback so I really do appreciate it. I love to write poems and I want to get better at it. Thank you very much for my Christmas present! I love it! :o) You will be getting a gift from me too! Just a little late. I'm gonna do some recording next week and will lick the stamp by the weeks end. I'll include some boylove songs to hopefully uplift you. Cherub has been nagging me to learn that song "Noel" so to be "seasonally correct" I'll probably put that on there. Some blues songs for MojoChris to jam to also! But mostly just BLues. Songs. :o) I've been thinking about what my favorite Christmas memory would be and I think I have it. It is (of course) the one I have with Michael. How could it not be? :o) It was our only Christmas together. I had been shopping for him all month! And also, so it wouldn't look too strange, his sister and parents. I asked his mother if I could come over before he woke up so that I could fill the floor with all the loot! She said sure and man you should have seen all the booty! The living room was covered in Michael Merchandise! :o) I didn't get to see him open the gifts though. I didn't bother to ask if I could be there. I didn't want to overstep my boundary. It was enough for me to know that he would be happy. He really didn't have much, as far as material items, so I knew he would love it. He had been dropping hints to me for a few weeks and I had been making a list so I wouldn't forget anything! The only thing I didn't get was the basketball hoop and pole. Michael was an artist. A 12 yr. old genius! He was so talented. Both in art and writing and arty writings! I got him this art kit we looked at one day during the summer that he said he would really like to have. It had every pencil imaginable, all the shades of grey, and a bunch of paints too. Erasers. Just all kinds of stuff. Two sets of colored pencils. This box had everything! I got him a bunch of clothes too that he wanted but his mother couldn't afford. A few t-shirts that had the name of the ARMY base I was stationed at on them. He wore those damn things all the time and it made me feel so good! Got him a big huge corkboard to hang on his wall so that we could pin stuff to it. A big chalkboard so we could write messages on it. We often did after that. Before I would leave I would usually sneak into his room and scribble a note to him on it so that it was the last thing he would see before he fell asleep. I would write something like..."hey Mike, I'll see you in a couple days! Draw me a picture ya little nerd! I'll call ya tomorrow. Be good. BYE!!" I would always come back and find messages to me like..."You're the nerd" "Thanks for calling, can't wait to see you!!" "Draw your own damn picture! HA! Just kidding!" Oh, anyway...back to Christmas day! I came back to the house later that night and before I could even fully exit my car he was out the door, down the steps, and lunging himself at me. He didn't hug me but grabbed my hands and thanked me for the presents. Told me all of the things he had done with the set (already). We went in the house and fixed some hot chocolate I had brought and sat down at the kitchen table to break in his pencils. All while we were drawing I would see him quickly glance up at me. I could tell he was trying to be inconspicuous about it. It was kinda weird at the time. It was like, oh okay, remember in "Man Without A Face" when Charles kept gazing up while studying to look at Mel Gibson? Like that. Like he was really trying to figure something out. I think it was then that he finally figured out that I was in love with him. I had told him a few weeks prior that I was gay. Actually, he told me I was! But that's a whole other story! :o) So...the night went on with us drawing and Michaels sideways glances. Some time past without much thought and then I looked over at him and saw him crying!! Big round tears were striping those soft and freckled chubbs! I gasped and said "what is wrong?" He sniffled and sobbed and just ran into his room. I immediately followed and found him there lying face down on the bed. I sat down on the chair next to the bed and asked again what was wrong. This time though the situation allowed me to rub his back while we spoke. He turned his head to me and said this - "Remember when you said you feel all alone because you're gay?" "Yeah" I said. Then he said..."Well, what if I told you that you're not alone?" This caused me to almost fall on the floor lauging! It was so cute how he said it. How he almost seemed like I was going to say "Ewwww! Get away from me!" It was like he was unsure how I was going to react! Anyway, we talked about it. I asked how long he had felt this way and he said "as long as I can remember" We faced each other holding hands and talking for a while and then went back into the kitchen to start on a new masterpiece. I can remember that particular picture collaboration very well. It was just a bunch of words and tiny drawings. Stuff only we could decipher. Phrases that meant something to nobody but us. Little pictures that when coupled with the memories attached to them meant far more. We filled the posterboard with them. And it was a pretty big board too! We took the frame from another drawing hanging on his wall we had done and put this new picture in it. We signed it. Hung it. And stood there staring at it together for a long time. He asked if I would like to keep it. And I said no. Wanting him to have the reminders, knowing I didn't need any. Stupid of me. I would give anything to have that picture now. Anything and all. Can't remember much after that except I was extrememly content that night and loved every minute of it. I do remember New Years though. That was the best also! Funny how memories run together over time. The memories themselves stay fairly well preserved but the timeline falls apart. I guess the landmark of Christmas is what made this ones intact. Thanks for the question Chris! Loved telling this story. Take care my friend. BLues. |