Re: Help
Submitted by Jules on January 04 19100 at 17:29:51
In reply to Help Submitted by New Guy on January 04 19100 at 12:57:07
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Hi there New Guy! If, as you say, you accept that your love for boys can be Godly in itself, then you're half-way there. What all of us who love boys need to do is to avoid forcing ourselves on anyone. That's a lesson I've learnt myself the hard way. If you can stay as you are that's great. Glad you're a christian - my brother! Don't know what sort of church you go to, but don't ever be deceived into thinking that God's love depends on how well you do. If you do ever make a mistake in this area, God will still accept you if you're following Jesus. It's also great that you've had a chance to read around about boylove and understand it. As for dealing with tempation, one of the best things to do with temptation is to face it directly, and work out what it is. To disarm it. If all I do is say that it comes from satan and I can't explain it, then all I can do to overcome it is try to suppress it. That never works in the long term. What does work in the long term is to understand the temptation and deal with it. I've worked out that for me, my sexual desire for boys isn't something separate from the rest of me. It's more a distortion of something good. It's a distortion of my sexuality which is meant to be expressed in other ways, and it's a distortion of what my christian loving relationship with boys ought to be. Knowing this helps me to re-direct the desire back into something good. For boys I know, this might mean encouraging them in life or spiritually in some way. For myself sexually, being single, it might mean getting to know my own body better on my own... What I'm saying is that it's easier to change a temptation back to the positive things it's distorted from, than to try and suppress it. Another thing that's been helping me recently is making more friends of my own age, and learning that friendship is something that takes time to develop on both sides. That's helped me not to try and force a close friendship out of a boy. Hope this makes sense. Do hang around and stay with us. Some of the guys here are better at praying regularly than I am, but at least I'm praying for you now. With love, Jules |