This is the way it goes for boys.....
Submitted by Disgusted Again on January 07 2000 at 09:29:00
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Nine-year-old's paternal grandmother charges: Abuse drove boy to suicide Kim Bolan,The Vancouver Sun Bill Keay, Vancouver Sun / LOVING HUG: Diana Carlisle embraces seven-year-old grandson Kyle Pelletier in Chilliwack on Wednesday. Kyle's nine-year-old brother hanged himself last Friday. Sean Pelletier CHILLIWACK-- Just weeks before he hanged himself Friday, nine-year-old Sean Pelletier swallowed a handful of pills a neighbor child had given him, his grandmother said Wednesday. He was rushed to hospital in Abbotsford, where he was treated and returned to his mother's custody, despite the protests of his father, John Pelletier, who had struggled for three years to get custody of Sean and his seven-year-old brother Kyle. Diana Carlisle, Sean's paternal grandmother, says she doesn't know what social workers were thinking when they released Sean into the custody of his mother despite a history of home problems and allegations of abuse. The ministry of families and children, the Children's Commission, Abbotsford police and the area coroner are all investigating the boy's death. The Grade 4 student was declared dead Saturday at B.C. Children's Hospital after a night on life support. Ross Dawson, director of child protection, refused to discuss Carlisle's allegations, except to reiterate that the investigation will look at all aspects of Sean's short life and the ministry's involvement in it. "She'll have the opportunity to tell all this to the inquiry," Dawson said of Carlisle's concerns. But Carlisle feels the government is not motivated to get at the truth if it implicates its own staff. "There was every kind of abuse. There were incidents that were reported. We even gave them pictures we took of bruises and bite marks on the boys' arms," a distraught Carlisle said in an interview. "They might as well have given him a loaded gun." Just before Sean wrapped a belt around his throat and hanged himself in a closet after dinner Friday, he had a fight with his mother, Carlisle said. "Kyle told us that his mother had told Sean that he and his father were no longer a part of the family," Carlisle said. "Sean was very upset." Carlisle, who saw her grandsons weekly and had custody of them when they were younger, feels Sean didn't intend to kill himself, but was looking for help to get out of a home he desperately wanted to leave -- a home where partying was a regular occurrence. Carlisle said her son once had a drinking problem, but he has been sober for six years. Sean's mother, who could not be reached for comment Wednesday, had already agreed to let her son live with his dad in Harrison Mills, Carlisle said, but the parents decided it would be less disruptive if they waited until the end of the school term. Suicide was not a new concept for Sean. Two years ago, he and Kyle walked in on their mother as she attempted to take her own life. It was the second attempt the young woman had made in recent years, said Carlisle. She added that her former daughter-in-law struggled with an alcohol problem. "The next Halloween, my daughter took the boys out trick-or-treating and they were jumping off the front porch, saying: 'I'm going to commit suicide.'" Kyle has been staying with relatives since witnessing the tragedy that took his brother's life. The ministry has already filed the paperwork to make Kyle a ward. "I don't want social services touching my other grandson," Carlisle said. She said Kyle is extremely traumatized by Sean's death. "The first day he just wanted to be carried everywhere. He's sucking his thumb and wants his blanket." Carlisle said the younger boy told her and a social worker after Sean's death that he wanted to commit suicide, too, to be with his brother. He has since talked to counsellors about his feelings. A few months before Sean's death, John Pelletier got a call from social services saying the boys hadn't been picked up at their day care, Carlisle said. Her son took them for the night and their mother returned the next day. "He was only nine years old, for God's sake. He was only a baby," she said. Despite his difficult home life, Sean had joy in his brief life, too, his grandmother said. "He was such a sweet child. He was always hugging and kissing," she said. "He loved to play jokes. He loved to go fishing with his father. He liked to ride his bike. He and his brother were very close." Sean was a popular student at Alexander elementary in Abbotsford. Grief counsellors were brought into the school to help the students cope with the loss. Carlisle said the family has invited all Sean's classmates to his memorial, at 2 p.m. today at Henderson's Funeral Home in Chilliwack. "We're putting him in a white turtle-neck so you won't be able to see the bruises around his neck," Carlisle said. Her goal in going public about her loss is to ensure that more children known to the ministry of families and children don't die needlessly. "I have lost faith in the system. They let my grandson die," she said, tears in her eyes. "How many more children need to lose their lives?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |