Thanks, everyone
Submitted by Heather on January 25 2000 at 17:19:28
In reply to A matter of conscience Submitted by Heather on January 24 2000 at 14:50:18
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Thanks so much to everyone for their suggestions – they were really helpful, in all their various aspects: making short comments to establish my position, not going overboard in situations where it would be inappropriate, not getting too discouraged over such matters, and, of course, trusting in God's help. Thinking it over, I've come to the conclusion that I should have handled matters in this way: 1) With the boylover at the party, who didn't know my stance on adult-child sex, I should have mentioned very briefly my stance, and left it open to the boylover whether to pursue a debate on the matter. 2) With the boylove rights activists, who already knew my stance but didn't know why I held it, I should have included in my Rind commentary a few words as to why I didn't believe that the Rind research settled the moral issue. 3) With the boylover sharing his news, who already knew my stance as well as why I held it, I did exactly the right thing. Now, here's something— Well, I won't say miraculous, but quirky. The boylover in the third anecdote actually told me his news two days ago – I covered this fact up in my post because he wrote to me on a public board, and I wasn't sure whether he was "out" as sexually active (it turns out he is). Yesterday, after I'd read the initial replies to my post here – a post which had been prompted by my agonizing over this latest incident – I found that a message had been posted elsewhere to me by the boylover in question. He (1) praised me for my civil manner of posting, (2) mentioned that he knew that "in principle" I disapproved of the fact that he was non-celibate, (3) mentioned that he also knew that I appreciated his perspective on the manner, and (4) raised the issue of the morality of man-boy sex, so that we could discuss the matter again. Wow. So the Pharisees really were wrong. Heather |