Love, marriage and BL
Submitted by Jules on February 19 2000 at 08:59:43
In reply to Does this make sense for us? Submitted by Mark on February 18 2000 at 23:08:20
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Hi Mark, Most of us are not able to love women in the way necessary for marriage It would be wrong for me to have sex with a woman (or man) since I could not love her (or him) in the way necessary for marriage. Hmm...I know what you mean, although you could say that the love required for marriage is not just based on sexual attraction. Here's an interesting question some of us may have asked ourselves: "Is it possible for me as a BL to choose to love a woman for life even if there is not much sexual attraction? I mean love in terms of commitment, companionship and, yes, sex as well. Of course she would have to know about my stronger sexual desires and live with that..." I suppose for most of us the answer to the question is "Yes it's possible, but why on earth would I want to do it?" Some might choose to do it simply to conform, or just to have children, but those aren't very good reasons on their own. (Even if they were a common reason in ancient societies!) Of course, some of us do have an attraction to women as well, and then the answer might be different. But even then, we would have to be open with her about BL, and the marriage may be harder because of it. So what is the function of the BLer's "sexual appetite"? It's to prompt us to care especially for boys. But like any sexual appetite I think it's also there to remind us that we are created for relationships, and to remind us to be careful in how we form those relationships. With love, Jules |