Things We Can Do!
Submitted by Mark on March 20 2000 21:48:41
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Too often I feel sorry for myself. I become angry about people's view of BLers, and I feel like I'm at the mercy of people who hate us and prevent us from showing the love we feel. However, I am coming to realize that this attitude is unhealthy and doesn't completely reflect reality. I have now come out as a BLer to 4 people in a nearby support group for gays and lesbians in my church denomination. They have responded very positively. I am learning that we do have the ability, even power, to change people's attitudes and live very fulfilling lives--lives full of love and caring for those we meet, including boys! If we are doing nothing wrong, then we have no reason to be ashamed of who we are. I have thought of three things we can and must do. 1. Start our own print publication. Imagine receiving a regular publication containing Bible study/inspirational articles from a BLer's point of view; discussion of ethical issues; advice to those in man-boy relationships; personal stories of coming out, spiritual growth, emotional health, or relationships with boys; personal stories of boylovers' friends, family members, or supporters; stories of reconciliation and development of trust between boylovers and non-boylovers; and creative writing by BLers. I think it would do wonders for our attitudes to have such a publication in our hands. We could even give or lend issues to friends. As many of you know, I decided to start this very type of publication. But I can't do it alone. I need submissions from you. There are lots of good writers out there, so please send me something (mark2402@nym.alias.net). 2. Meet with each other. Encouraging each other is crucial, but I don't think on-line correspondence is enough. Speaking on the phone is better, but meeting in person is the best. Yes, it *is* important to be careful, and I would never advocate taking undue risk. But I also think we can be too fearful and unwilling to take the next step toward emotional and spiritual health. There are posters who we can trust. Get to know them, and meet one in person. A most unique opportunity is coming up in June--our "Christian Consultation on BL"! Imagine meeting with other BLers (along with a few non-BLers who accept us) for three days of worship, fun, and discussions about faith, sexuality, and living full lives as self-accepting BLers. This will be a time for us to be open and honest--something we long to do in our home churches but can't! Again, email me if you want to learn more. 3. Mentor each other. At Open Hands, someone wrote "I just need help learning how to live." Often I feel the same way! I see many BLers here at CBF who have very healthy self-concepts, who live fulfilling lives, and who have exemplary relationships with boys. I strongly believe that they should be willing to mentor BLers who have not yet achieved that. I could imagine mentors and mentees learning from each other through email and personal visits. We need to be role models for each other! I also envision local support groups around the country that can meet regularly. We don't need to wait decades for this to happen, but it will happen only if we make it so. That's my list of ideas about what we can do. If you have any others, post them here. We do have the ability to improve things! Mark |
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