Re: I don't understand this
Submitted by Ben on March 25 2000 10:38:49
In reply to I don't understand this submitted by Liz Howland on March 25 2000 07:44:37
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Hi Liz - Thanks for your direct questions. The only way that I, and I believe most here, have acted on impulses is in masterbation and fantasy. I have never, and would never, touch a child sexually. I pray that someday I will not even masterbate or fantasize about boys, but that is still a work in progress. I went through five years of aversion therapy. I sought it out and paid for it, even at the young age of 17. I think that I can therefore speak authoritatively on it. Aversion therapy is based on behavior modification which is based on statistical evidence. Evidence clearly shows that aversion therapy will reduce the frequency of ones behaviors. For someone who cannot control an urge to molest children, for example, behavior therapy might be the only possible tool (other than jail) to stop a behavior which has disastrous consequences. In my case, behavior therapy clearly reduced the frequency of looking at boys lustfully and of masterbation. It did nothing to redirect the love for boys that I felt or the emptiness of my life. Instead, it suppressed my ability to love, to feel, to be happy and it further taught me that love is about redirecting my lust towards women. It presuming, absolutely incorrectly, that if I turned my fantasies to women instead, that I would become attracted to them instead. It did nothing to teach me that God's plan is not for us to have correctly directed lust. It did nothing to fill in the hole that was empty without God, and being filled by lusting for boys. I continued to be addicted to sexual fantasy, but just fantasized about women a bit more often and boys a bit less. Thanks to the grace of God, that a Christian family reached out to me 15 months ago and shared the gospel with me, as well as their family and their life. Not only do I have more kids in my life than I ever have, but I can truly say that they love me and I love them, and that they are not just objects of lust. Aversion therapy is a horrible substitute for good old fashioned repentence. Love in Christ, Ben |
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