Things I've Learned: Part 4
Submitted by Ford Prefect on April 10 2000 14:17:55
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Thanks to David, Rex, F.O.D. and Oliver for your responses to my recent posts. I've been gone from the house for most of the time since Saturday afternoon, so this is the earliest opportunity I've had to reply. Since the creator (Douglas Adams) of my namesake wrote a five-part trilogy, I thought it appropriate to post this as the fourth part of my little trilogy :-) Since Saturday afternoon I've done a lot of thinking about the significance of sex acts and just what one "gives up" in sexual abstinence. These thoughts are just mine, not those from scripture, church teachings, etc., so for any conclusions drawn from them, your mileage may vary. I've seen three purposes of sex. The most obvious is reproduction. The idea that my name or my DNA had to continue on is one that's never been of any great importance to me, so I've virtually nothing to say about it, and I've never really seen this part as a personal sacrifice. The second purpose was that of just plain fun. I don't see this as evil, sinful, or in any other derogatory light……just simply as a source of pleasure. But this again, was not of any monumental importance to me; there are plenty of other ways to have fun. The third was the communication of acceptance. Needless to say, from what I've already written, this was the big one, indeed the overpowering one for me. And, as long as I remained convinced that there could be only one person capable of communicating that acceptance to me, it seemed to be the aspect I could not possibly get along without. Based on what the good priest had told me and, quite frankly, feeling trapped into it as the only way to go, I set out to follow the recommendations he'd made for following a celibate life. Still, I regarded it as simply the best substitute for what I imagined I would find and give with that one special person. This is still where I was after Mass on Saturday night. By Sunday morning though, I'd made the connection that's taken so long. I could, indeed I was already getting and giving the acceptance and love I, and those I came in contact with, needed. My lover was the Mystical Body of Christ. I'd come to depend on it. I was becoming married to it. This was no substitute after all…..it was the real thing! All these people I'd come to love and who loved me in return, showed me, as I showed them, the love of God…..in my view, God himself within us. This was, as FOD put it, a "holy promiscuity" with the many faces of Jesus we all see every day. I'd heard for years that celibacy was a gift, rather than a sacrifice, but until yesterday, I never saw how that was true. Well, come to think of it, as long as I harbored that "If you only knew" thought, how could I? Once again, I must thank Dirk Gently for his recommendation of Fr. Nouwen, who I'd never heard of before. It was Nouwen who got me over that most recent hurdle and thus allow me to accept love from those who had been trying, some for a long time, to share it with me. ---Ford |
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