Hello Pendragon, What you've written shows you're struggling with many of the same issues most of us here have also agonized over. Don't be so quick to distrust your self and your heart. God may well be showing you truth in ways you don't expect. Take some time to read through the stories of ourselves posted here.....look through Old Posts too. Many answers don't come easy and are often surprising. Just keep track of your towel :-) ---Ford |