Re: Breaking the news
Submitted by Jules on May 02 2000 18:24:22
In reply to Breaking the news submitted by ChoirBoy on May 02 2000 01:13:04
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Hi ChoirBoy, I've not been in the situation you are in. But here's what I think. You say you want to tell her you're a boylover. Is that really what you mean? Wouldn't I be right in thinking that what you really mean is that you want her to know that you have an emotional love for boys, which sometimes feels sexual as well? In other words don't think of it as something that defines you as a certain type of person, but think of it as one of your many interests. If you let her get to know you well, and she's seen how you normally are in your own life, then that emotional love is going to be obvious anyway, because she will see you with boys, she'll know you love movies with boys in, etc. (If she hasn't seen you as you are, then why would she have agreed to marry you?!) Yes, she does need to know about the sexual attraction as well. But don't do it by using the label boylover, because she might have heard the label used in a different, negative context. "You know how much I love being with boys, well sometimes it feels like a physical attraction, but I know how to handle it..." That sort of thing. In the end total honesty is essential in a relationship, but it's only you who can judge whether to make a point of telling her as a specific thing or wait until the subject naturally arises... With love, Jules |
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