Re: Desperately Needing Advice

GOL - I rethought my use of the word 'normal' after I posted my message. It was a simplistic way of saying 'mainstream' and it was probably out of place. As for marriage, I look to 1 Cor 7 where Paul actual sees the value to staying unmarried (as do I see a value) so that they can devote their lives to God: 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. [1] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Indeed, I can see a value to being single and being forever driven to devote my life to helping boys. The problem is that I do 'burn with passion' for boys and I have no sexual outlet other than fantasy (accompanied by lust of course). When I have given in to my desires, I have ended up living my life in a selfish way, always looking for the next cute boy to dream about, rather than enjoying the beauty of God's gifts and devoting my life to those in need. Paul was most likely referring to those who really could control themselves sexually, not those whose sexual desires were just as strong as a heterosexual (whether they were heterosexual, homosexual, BL, etc). As for celibacy, in the case of being a 'celibate BL' I am referring to the fact that I have never had sexual relations of any kind with a boy. While I certainly respect your right to believe what you want to believe, I think that we have to be careful about watering down God's Word so that it fits our own desires. I am not saying that I don't contemplate the possibility that God created me as a BL so that I would devote my life to boys. But I do believe that my fantasies and masterbation are sinful, and it is only for the grace of God that I can live anyway in hope and forgiveness. You are not alone. Ben