Yes, some truth in it for me as well
Submitted by Jules on June 17 2000 10:16:12
In reply to Poll for the weekend :-) submitted by Forgiven on June 16 2000 20:44:34
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True, I am an only child, too, and didn't mix with other children very much. I first remember thinking another boy looked 'cuddly' when I was about 7, and it all grew from that, longing to get close to other boys, and becoming interested in them sexually by about 11. My only ever intimate friendship was at age 12, with another 12-year-old, and it felt good while it lasted. I fancied lots of boys as a teenager, and it stuck. If I'd had brothers to mess about with, or other stable friendships, things might have been different, or they might not. I don't know. I know I still have a longing to go back to my teenage years and live them again with lots of friends. For example, if I'm looking through a furniture catalogue, I always get drawn to the children's bedroom stuff and the bunk beds, because I've got a deep longing to go back and live my childhood again sharing a room. And I love sharing a room if I'm away somewhere. Oh, and I'm drawn to the idea of parents letting children sleep with them if they want to - something I want to do if I have my own kids someday. Recently I've been learning to make up for the lack of companionships, with non-sexual adult friendships, but it's surprising how long it's taken me to learn how to conduct such friendships. Am I the way I am because I was an only child, or was it only a minor factor? Would I have made friends better if I'd had brothers and sisters, or was I genetically preprogrammed to be a loner anyway? I don't think these are the sort of questions we can answer. What I do know is how valuable it's been to learn not to be a loner any more as an adult. With love, Jules |
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