Cat,

I have looked at your study here and have very little scriptural argument with the individual passages and so forth that you are quoting. I DO have a problem with the bigger picture you are presenting. Firstly, Marriage is not a CONCESSION of anything in my view. Marriage is God's original intent for man and woman, from the Garden. God said that man should not be alone and needed a help-mate and so He created Eve from Adam's rib. God created all the desires you are referring to FOR marriage, FOR the opposite sex. I also believe the 1 Corinthians 7 passages you were referring to are basically Paul's OPINION about marriage being about bringing lusts under control. Paul admits it as much when he says he is offering a concession and not a commandment. The message translates 1 Cor 7:6 as saying "I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence-only providing my best counsel if you should choose them". I think to base any judgements about sex and marriage on these passages is problematic.

I am not bl, but I face a similar problem with masturbation, and unfortunately, porn. Cat, you have done this study which attempts to state that masturbation is ok under certain, specific conditions and strictly interpreting certain scriptures to arrive at that conclusion. I guess my problem with that, is....who does that? Who lusts after non-specific persons? When I watch my porn, I am lusting after what is on that screen. When I have tried to abstain from porn, certain people come to mind, and I masturbate after them. Lust is very often tied to a person and the mind wanders easily. If I don't masturbate at all, I have dreams about specific people. Lust and passion are emotions, and in the moment, they can take you anywhere. Because of all of the above, I don't believe masturbation is a concession for anyone.

Cat, your position on marriage for bl's is quite appaling to me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, after seeing all the hell you went through in your marriage, to reccomend that option is almost negligent on your part. The fact is, partners in marriage need intimacy with each other. There are two options for the non-hetrosexual in marriage: 1. Lie about your sexuality or 2. Admit everything. The first one is clearly not scriptural and the second one eliminates most marriage partners. I don't know of many women who would accept the lack of intimacy and the knowledge that your desires rest with someone else all the time. So to me, to encourage marriage in this context is like inviting a train wreck.