alright dude listen....

first off you dont need all this religious baggage to wear you down. you already have a pretty hard life. my advice is to accept your gayness and embrace it...it'll probably help make you happier.

second, you should love that 16 year old guy with all your heart. love is never wrong (so im told) but it is often mislabelled. when you think of their needs and wants before yours, you'll know it's love. it will be a fulfilling experience, whether or not it's reciprocated is another question.

but yea dude i know how u feel man...ive very recently gone through the same shit u have and still going through it. i get depressed all the time. and unfortunately i cant say at this stage that things get better...