Hi all together,

I am glad that I found this site, up to now I didn't know that Christian BL sites do exist!

Indeed I am a conservative Christian - and a BL since the age of 10 (yes, really... I remember being in 4th class when I thought of another boy so cute...). I collect boy-music and -movies, legal photos, and in my church I work with children. You might call me a "soft BL", but though I am attracted to boys I never had any sexual relationship with one (ok, hugging is not sexual, is it?!), even no close boyfriend whom I met regularly. For myself I say, I am a pedo-phile (in the true sense of that word), but not pedosexual.

For a long time I thought being a Christian and a BL cannot be combined, and tried to forget about boys. But (of course!) I couldn't. In the church we were told that God hates homosexuality (they never spoke about pedophiles, but I think that would be a sin even greater for them). But am I a homo, when I'm only attracted to boys younger than 14? Still I cannot give the complete answer, but now I think it does not really matter: In my opinion it is not my responsibility what I FEEL and DESIRE in my heart, but just how I ACT what I actively THINK. God made me (or allowed me to become) as I am now, and it is my responsibility how I deal with it.

We all should believe that God makes no mistakes. It makes me happy that I don't have to ask the question why I belong to some "non-normal" people (as seen through others' eyes), but that it is only my duty to behave as a Christian; see Psalm 1: "Blessed is he that does not walk...stand...sit with (or, as) sinners". That is why I am not looking for any sexual relationship with any boy (for I think that is sinflul), but I am not supressing my affection towards boys. I do not avoid meeting boys (yeah, really like it ;) for I think I do have myself under control and will not go too far with them.

I am happy with my life, have only non-BL friends in real life and do many non-BL activities, am also attracted to girls (>14 ;) - but most of all enjoy listening, watching, having affection for BOYS. Up to now I never spoke with anyone about BL, and I am not worried about that (so-called "normal" people, even true friends, would not understand; I think don't need their advices concerning that, and why should they know how I feel in this concern?). I don't participate in other BL forums because most of them don't take care of Christians (they even might see them as their moral judges and so dislike them). But YOU here in this Christian BL forum do understand me, that is why I just wanted to share some thoughts (sorry for the lenght!).

I will visit the site now and in future, but probably not every day... time hurries...

Thanks again for running that hp and the good threads I read so far!

- Little Tree -