I think many of us have been there. I overcame depression some 6 years ago and life has been mostly uphill since. It takes work to get out of that hole. You won't just wake up one day having snapped out of it. It takes making a decision, it takes taking action and creating the life you want for yourself. But it's possible. I live a fairly happy life now. I discovered who I really am and I set about making who I am externally reflect who I am internally. God created you for a reason, and I doubt it was to live a sad and meaningless existence that culminates in suicide. Hang in there, fight the fight, you can do it.

As for this feeling that if people only knew you were a pedophile...It's just not very accurate. If people knew who you really are, then they would care about you just as much. It's only if they knew an inaccurate media driven caricature of who you are based on misinformed stereotypes that they would hate you. If they knew who you really are, the love you feel, the goodness in your heart, your willingness to sacrifice your own pleasure for the sake of others, if they knew that, the real truth, they would probably appreciate you even more. Who cares what people would think if they knew only a fraction of the truth and then mixed it with a bunch of lies?