Your honesty is what is missing in most believers. I understand how you feel and currently feel as if I'm going through my current situation for a reason but see no reason it can't stop now and God tell or show me what I am suppose to learn. I am willing to say I have made mistakes and even exam myself for what I should do and focus on doing things his way but see no reason why this situation can't be peacefully resolved today. I guess I am like you and wonder sometimes about God.