You know you make a lot of sense because I reach out to God ALOT MORE because of my sexuality than I did before I even knew what pedophilia was. I have sought and continue to seek God and it seems that maybe he put us here in this world that hates us with something they hate just so we will seek him because we are vulnerable and destined to be destroyed without him.

I have a more intimate relationship with God because of my pedophilia. This is because I have to depend on him alot more and my need for him to be with me is even more realized since we aree a target for others hate.

Now, with this being said. Can I also count on God to give me opportunities to experience my sexuality in its fullness? If not, then lets just chalk it up to God driving us closer to him and since he got what he wanted he may now take away this sexuality and know I am know in his arms forever.

Having this sexuality without being able to experience it makes no sense to me as long as God got what he wanted and no longer needs to drive me to him as I am eternally hooked.

It's like why know how to save a life and never save a life when the opportunity presents itself.