Hi hfj,

I agree with most of what has been written so far (from Eldad, qwerty, marc, Dakota, and Blackstone).

Just a quick quote from qwerty (ha, that rhymes):

Boys are very responsive to attention. From older males in particular. And I believe that they need that attention and love from someone. It sometimes seems to me that it's like an instinct for a boy to become attached to an older male who shows him love.

I agree! Until very recently I have never had a YF in my life. I just never expected it to happen. But recently a young Christian teen -- who has a great family, and is very well adjusted -- pretty much came right out and asked me if I would mentor him. I sensed a definite eagerness to spend time with me, and it really surprised me. [He wants to spend time with ME??!!] It has been a fantastic blessing so far. Though I love him so much, and really enjoy his company, I am trying to make sure that God is at the center of the friendship, and that I always put his needs at the forefront. [There is nothing sexual, of course, and there never will be. And, what I mean by "his needs" is, essentially, what he needs to become a healthy, Godly young man -- not necessarily his wants.]

I have come to realize how natural (and "instinctual", as qwerty said) it is for young guys to seek our the influence of older males (who show them love and attention). It is an incredible blessing -- and a huge responsibility (Mark 9:42) -- to be an influence in a young guy's life, and I pray that God will help me to be a positive influence.

The challenge is to make sure I don't get so consumed in my love for him that my perspective becomes unhealthy and I start becoming possessive and "clingy". Because, if that happens, the chances of the friendship self-destructing are high. I find I need to continually "give him to God". For one thing, I think that helps to make the friendship healthier (as it will be more focused on what God is doing in his life, and how I can be a part of that). But also, I know the (closeness of the) friendship is only for a period. I want to make sure that, when the time comes for him (or me) to move on, that I will not be emotionally destroyed in the process. [I do hope the friendship will continue forever, in one form or another, but I know it will eventually change -- it would be unhealthy if it didn't.]

I believe that we can have a very positive, healthy influence in the lives of young guys, as long as we always remember that they are NOT there to meet our romantic (or sexual!) needs. If God allows us to play a role in a young guys life, let it always be in humility before God, and with an absolute commitment to the well-being of the young guy in question. If we make it about us, we're in risky territory.

Sorry, I'm rambling a bit, and probably a bit off topic of what you were asking. Still hope it helps somewhat.

Blessings,
Rainboy