"my 'affliction' has given me a great deal of understanding about the universe and emotional connections"

It's funny that you mention it, I haven't thought about it for a long time, presently being in a sort of confused and dejected state, mostly about feeling unloved/unneeded and wondering about the future, wondering 'what does it all mean/is anything worth ANYTHING?'. But you reminded me what I used to believe about my BL realization and my YF: if it hadn't happened I'd probably be a MUCH worse person ('worse' in the sense that we're already faulty by earthly nature/sin).
I didn't know what love's reality was until I experienced it firsthand, and it just HAD to be him. I don't think it would've worked any other way (it's complicated -taken me many years to unravel) and it brought me closer to God as one of many results.

It's been a couple years since it all happened, though, and I guess I forget more often than remember nowadays. I'd been hanging on to the one good thing in my life for so long after it was gone that I wasted several years I could've been looking towards the future (the present, even!).
What I'm trying to say is: thanks for the reminder!

I'd elaborate but I gotta run. maybe I'll finish the thought later...