I agree with the "balance" answer. Another thing that makes a good AF is maturity. Way too many times, I have met other BLs who were still themselves immature either in their way of thinking or in the lifestyle they lived. For someone to be a good AF, they must model the type of life a person should aspire to live. How can someone be a mentor if they are not living a lifestyle anyone would want to emulate? For someone to be a good AF, they must be mature mentally, emotionally, and in our case, spiritually. Someone who doesn't have his life in order needs to get his life in order before he can be a good AF. I don't believe someone could be a good role model (AF) if they aren't living the kind of life someone would want to live.